Tangled

My daughter handed a ball of yarn that was a real mess. We were riding in the car on the way back home after a movie and dinner, so it was dark. Not an easy task, but then when our children give us a mess to take care of, it often is a difficult challenge.

I have always loved fiber crafts including crochet and knitting, but this winter both of my girls suddenly got bitten by the yarn bug. There is something about all the soft, fluffy, or glittery stuff out there...they didn't want to learn how to use needles, but we learned arm knitting and they continued with finger crochet and braiding. The first thing I tried to teach them is how to pull the yarn out of the skein and roll it into a ball. Trust me, that is the best way to avoid problems. You have to know where to pull it...from the center, not from around the out side. It is also important to leave the wrapper on until you are finished winding the ball.

Well, Amanda had not done either of those things with this skein. It was soft, fuzzy, with evenly spaced lumps, which served to make it maddeningly difficult to avoid tangles. I worked on it for twenty or so minutes in the car, then for another hour at home on the dining table, where I have both light and space. As I worked, I would occasionally think I had finally taken care of the worst of it, only to find another lump to untwist and unwrap from itself.

As I worked, I thought. I enjoy a challenge and I have plenty of patience to work on something that seems impossible. I actually enjoy the challenge, whereas I know neither of my girls would have the patience or the know-how to conquer this mess. I was struck with how much this was like the messes that our children hand us in life. Those problems that they create through not listening to what we have taught them or through their inexperience. They don't always know how to work their way out of the mess and they have to hand it to us for help. Problems that are next to impossible to complete in the dark and need light and space in order to see the intricate twists and lumps that frustrate us. Every time I thought I had finally broken through or I was nearing the end, it would get bad again.

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that my girls turn to me with their tangles. There will be a day when they won't look to me as often and I will miss that opportunity. The opportunity to teach, guide, spend time with and just love on them. Maybe by then they will be untangling their own children's messes.